Wednesday, May 25, 2011
What is a black hole? Well, a black hole is defined as, in a nutshell, a curvature of space-time geometry created by an intense gravitational field from which nothing, not even light, can escape. You don't want to get sucked into a black hole. Increasingly, I am finding my office to be a black hole. There is no air, no light, no escape. There is cold. They keep it so damn cold that I often have to wear two sweaters and a lap blanket. We women often wonder among ourselves if that has anything to do with the doddering senior partner's Google search history -- Asian women, Japanese women, Russian women, European women, French women, Swedish women. Lingerie. Demi-bras. Water bras. And some things we've never heard of. Yeah, we gather around his computer every now and again to look at his history and snicker. But I digress.
Black holes is the subject. Yesterday alone, I had three clients from hell to deal with, all with diagnoses of "offness." One is a woman who's not even our client; her boyfriend, who apparently can't speak for himself, is. She called me three times yesterday, taking up 15 to 20 minutes with each call. It got to the point where I just laid the receiver down, let her ramble (because you can't get a word in edgewise, anyway), and went on about my business. Another is a young male divorce client. He's not angry when he's talking to me, but he yells. He's just ... loud. And never understands anything 'til you've explained it multiple times. He gives me a headache. The other one was another divorce client, female, whom nothing ever pleases. She will argue with me if I look out the window and tell her nobody's dropped a bomb and everything is still standing. And then there was a new guy -- not, thank God, one of mine -- who came in to discuss his recent release from the psych center and his complaint against the police for disrespecting him. And then he spent 15 minutes extolling on the virtues and beauty of our front door before they could actually hustle him out said door.
Black holes suck. And not just literally. But they have to have an escape hatch somewhere. Don't they?
Watch out for black holes, and Happy Hump Day.