Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Week's Best E-Mail

Well, shoot, I must be losing it. I had today's post ready last night and scheduled for posting. Unfortunately, I thought today would be the 27th. Duh. So, anyway, here it is, only a few hours late. This was not a senior moment. Just so you know.

Roxan is responsible for this funny e-mail forward.

Y'all have yourselves a wonderful Wednesday and a very Happy Hump Day!

myspace layouts

This is a real posting under "men seeking women." Hilarious!

RE: To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace=2 0where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.


G-Man said...

And you rag on MY posting times?

Serena said...

Yes, I know, but this is ME, dahling. And you always forgive me, yes?;)

G-Man said...

It's my weak compassionate nature I guess...:P

Anonymous said...

kind of
a crappy post


× × ×


Serena said...

Yeah, that must be what it is, Galen.:-)

It was rather perfectly crappy, wasn't it, /t.? Happy Thursday, my friend.;)

Brian Miller said...


Serena said...

I'm glad you are amused, Brian.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Movement onna first date. Hmmmm. At least when I gambled and "lost" on a fart, it wasn't there ;-)

Serena said...

Must have been an, er, interesting date, Skunk.:-)