Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Week's Best E-Mail

I have a stupid ear infection. Yuck! I always seem to come down with something any time I'm "traumatized." I need to work on that. Trauma happens. It's ridiculous to allow physical stuff to enter into the equation.

Have a great Wednesday and a Happy Hump Day.

And now, here's my favorite e-mail forward of the week, compliments of Roxan. Enjoy!

The Divorce Letter

Dear Wife,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me any more; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me any more - whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

PS: Your sister and I are moving away to The GOLD COAST! Have a nice day.


Dear Phil,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was, 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers - I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I pray it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.


Your Ex-Wife - Rich as hell and FREE!

PS: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.


Marion said...

That is hilarious! I'm sending you a 'poor baby' for your ear infection. I hope you feel better soon. Blessings!

Serena said...

Glad you enjoyed it, Marion. The ear is MUCH better now. I'm a pretty good doctor, and your 'poor baby' helped.:-)

G-Man said...

Hahahaha..(cough cough cough)
Sorry..I Be Illin!!

Serena said...

Aww, poor Galen. I'm sending YOU a 'poor baby.' We need to get you over the illin' and back to chillin'.:)

Leslie said...

In your face!!!!Love it!!!


Serena said...

Thanks, Leslie.:)