Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Week's Best E-mail
Here's my favorite recent "forward." Makes sense to me. You? Oh, and by the way -- Happy Hump Day!
Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.)
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A- R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W- L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
REMEMBER -- SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.
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6 comments:
AWESOME!
S-E-R-E-N-A-J-O-Y
19+5+18+5+14+1+10+15+25 = 112%
! ! !
HAPPY DAY
OF
THE HUMP
TO
SERENA
OF
THE JOYOUS!
¤ ¤ ¤
/t.
I was not much of the belief that math can get you anywhere in life.
It's so...Cabalaesque!!
..And creepy.
But You Sherry...You Da Bomb!!
Carry On....G
Thank you for doing the Math, /t. Hope you've had a lovely Hump Day.:)
Having been mathematically challenged all my life, I have to agree with you, Galen. I'm off to carry on now -- and hoping I don't fall down, go boom.:-)
I get it....Bomb...Boom!!
You so smaaaaaat...hehe
Me done felt a disturbance in da force.
What be more scary than a monster who done maxing out at 168%?
Me never really be gone S.J.
STOMP!
Of course, Galen. Smaaaat is my middle name -- which is infinitely preferable to Splaaaat.:-)
Scary, you cute little monster, you. It's good to see you! You ought to STOMP by more often. I'll give you cookies and milk.:)
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