Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Res Judicata Ridiculosa

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As we all know, there are plenty of ridiculous laws on the books here in the United States. These laws from abroad, however, are beyond ridiculous. They're great for giggles but, for heavens sake, keep them in mind when travelling in other countries. It would be too embarrassing to get arrested for one of these.

Australia - It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.

France - Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.

Thailand - It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear.

Italy - It is an offense for women of "ill repute or evil looks" to enter a cheese factory in the area of Ferrara.

Scotland - It is illegal to be a drunk while in possession of a cow.

France - It is illegal in Antibes to take photos of police officers or police vehicles, even if they are just in the background.

Lebanon - Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals so long as the animals are female. It is illegal to have sex with a male animal.

China - Women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may only be naked whilst in the bathroom.

Hong Kong - A woman is legally allowed to kill her cheating husband, only if she uses her bare hands. The husband's lover, however, may be killed in any manner desired.

Switzerland - A man may not relieve himself while standing up after 10 P.M.

Puppy Update: Turns out my pup did, in fact, have an abscessed tooth. Not that the doc could see it at our appointment yesterday afternoon. Nobody could get into the pup's mouth without her trying to bite. Therefore, the doc is guessing but is 99% sure that's the problem. She sent us home with antibiotics and instructions to come back Thursday or Friday if the swelling hasn't gone down. By the time we got to the vet's office, the abscess had actually ruptured and was draining through the poor dog's cheek. I was horrified, but the doctor said they do that, it was fine, and it will be fine. But geez, what a mess! The poor little thing looks like Cujo. She's pretty smelly, too, but she won't let me touch the affected side of her face with a wash cloth. I just covered every place she likes to sit and lie with towels and sheets and will have to wait it out.


Mona said...

LOL @ the Lebanon rule and the Hongkong rule is welcome!

I am sorry to hear about Pup. But it seems to be getting better!

G-Man said...

Those darn Scots just can't be trusted whilst drunk!!
I'm so glad puppy is feeling better.
Ars Gratia Artis.....:-)

Serena said...

I chuckled at those, too, Mona. Pup is getting better, thanks. And speaking of getting better, how's your BIL doing?

Careful, Galen. You know I'm about a quarter Scottish.:) Puppy doesn't know much about the Arts, but she does say to tell you "Arf!"

Skunkfeathers said...

Speaking of abscesses digressively, this dude one day woke widda problem: every time he passed gas, his farts went "honda honda honda". Initially, it was a great novelty. One that quickly wore off, as his farts continued to go "honda honda honda".

Doctor after doctor tried and failed to determine what made his farts go "honda honda honda".

Finally, he was sent to an Asian doctor who specialized in rare, exotic diseases and innovative therapies. After a full physical, he had the man lay back in a chair, and began looking in his mouth. After a few moments of silent examination, the doctor utters an "ahSOOOO", grabs a medical non-musical instrument, and yanks a tooth outta the guy's mouth.

The dude is livid.

"What did you do that for?", he painfully shouts.

"Ah, tooth have abscess" was the doctor's knowing response.

"But what does THAT have to do with my farts going honda honda honda?" grumbled the man.

"Abscess make the fart go honda".

*ducking boos and throwd prescription bottles*

Serena said...

LMAO, Skunk. I won't throw antibiotics at you this time because you made me laugh.:-)