Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fun With Twisted Linguistics

ImageChef Custom Images

I'm going to attempt to define these Words Gone Wild blasfomys, but I'd like you to follow up and define them better than I ever thought of doing on my most twisted day.

litterally - Look, Ma, it really is literary!

foriegn - Someone from really far away.

infiels - Inhabitants of a particularly insular fiefdom.

waere - Supernatural warfare?

jouornalists - Journalism school drop-outs working for the supermarket tabloids.

gullable - One who is way too easily conned by seagulls.

supposevily - One who is obsessed with wicked hypotheses.

vow of chasity - I'm not sure, but I'm guessing one who takes such a vow is no virgin.

sperm donar - You probably don't want to do in vitro with this guy.

irresponsable - One who is unable to respond in a timely fashion.

shure - He soles shoes by the seashore?

innane - Disreputable motel.

currrenty - The contemporary legal tender of a country you never heard of.

disipline - Getting your reputation trashed by a dominatrix.

beacuse - The excuses bees make.


And just because it's such fun to look at, check out this piece of spam Skunkfeathers got recently.

*Note to spammers: You could possibly make more headway if you were marginally literate. Probably not, but it is a thought. I mean, if this is your life's ambition and you're going to scam and spam or bust, why not make the effort to at least spell your cons and lies properly with some decent sentence structure and a little intermittent punctuation?

DEAR FRIEND,

PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY IF THIS E-MAIL IS EMBRRASING AS YOU DO NOT KNOW ME I AM MR KLAUS BROWN, THE DIRECTOR OF ADUIT AND ACCOUNTS WITH THE ECOWAS REGIONAL OFFICE.HAVING OBTAINED YOUR CONTACT FROM THE INTERNET COUPLED WITH MY DEEP INTEREST TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY I DECIDED TO CONTACT AND SOLICITE YOUR MUTUAL ASSITANCE.

I DESCOVERD THE SUM OF $28.9 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS DURING THE ADUITING OF THE CONTRACT PAYMENT ACCOUNT OF THE COMMISSION.THIS FUND IN QUESTION COMES FROM OVERINVOICED CONTRACTS SUM FROM GOVERNMENT AND ECOWAS PROJECTS WHICH THE PRINCIPAL CONTRACT SUM HAS BEEN PAID TO THE CONTRACTOR LEAVING THE OVERINOICED SUM OF $28.9M USD.

I THEREFORE SEEK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO HAVE THE FUND RE-TRANSFERED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FOR A JOINT BUSINESS INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY NOTE THAT THIS FUND IS VERY FREE FROM DRUG,TERRORIST FUND AND MONEY LAUNDERING OR ANY OTHER,CRIME RELATED ACTS.

THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM MANY BREACH OF THE LAW(NOTE)I NEED YOUR ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY AND FOR YOU TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS TO ENSURE SUCCESS,IF THIS BUSINESS PROPOSITION OFFENDS YOUR MORAL VALUES, DO ACCEPT MY APOLOGY.
FOR MORE DETAILS AND HOW TO RETRANSFER THE FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

PLEASE DO REPLY OR CALL ME:+226 75 59 79 39.

REGARDS,
KLAUS BROWN.
ECOWAS REGIONAL OFFICE.

I don't know about you, but I think mutual assitance sounds like an indecent proposition. For shame, Mr. Brown.

7 comments:

G-Man said...

Serena...You have defined these marvelously!!
I cannot possibly define these any better.
You are one defining MoFo!!
You define the very essence of definitions!!!
Definitive Red-Heads make me shiver with excitement...Thanks!
Your friend Galen...:-)

dons_mind said...

hehe i get those spam emails about tw or three a day on my gmail account...i used to report 'em all as spam but finally gave up - too many...now i use my delete key!

hey - check out my column for lexophiles today! you like word play too.....

Serena said...

You talkin' 'bout me, G? Moi? Heh.:-)

Hi, Don. Will do.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

I agree with G-Man...hard to top your definitions h'yar.

I just finished my annual recert on CPR/AED, and was witness to possibly the funniest moment in a class that, in the past four years, has provided multiple *funnies*: the officer doing their 'practical' test was busy doing one-person CPR, with the training officer continually throwing all kinds of different things into the mix, and THEN he has an AED magically show up (without someone to deliver, set up and use it as a now two-person operation)...she did all the steps, fired it up, and right at the end of the first analysis....the batteries died. Instead of immediately resuming CPR, the officer glared at the grinning training officer and let fly with "awww, the hell widdis! You thump the dummy! It's DAID! It's got no arms, no legs, it's DAID! It ain't never gonna be anything else but DAID!!!"

It took us ten minutes to resume the practicals... ;)

leelee said...

:-)

you still make me smile...hope all is well my friend.

HUGS!

Mona said...

O Dear, I keep getting those kind of mails too...

Hope you are doing well Serena :)

Serena said...

Oh, my word, Skunk. I'd love to have been in that class. Too funny!:-)

All's well, Leelee, aside from being ungodly busy. Hugs back atcha.:)

I'm well, Mona, and hope you are, too. Are you still in the States? I hope your BIL is doing better.