Saturday, October 07, 2006
The Bad Moon is here and I was thinking about not leaving the house today. I've already been attacked all week long by its scouts, the Evil Moon Death Squad Rays (Ray, Ray, Jr., Ray, III, etc., etc.), so I know without a doubt that it's out there, just waiting for a chance to catch me and administer the coup de grâce. I just know that if I step outside, I'll fall off the front porch. If I make it to the car and start it up, it'll either blow up or pop a tire as I back out of the driveway. If I get as far as the mall, I'd either go to pay for something and find my wallet had been pickpocketed or walk straight into the path of a moon-crazed psycho. Ha!
Actually, I do have to go out. And I'm not really scared -- not of full moons or anything else. I tend to thumb my nose at such subjects of superstition, never mind that some of them smack back sometimes. Now that I've written about it, outed it in public, I think it's running scared. Wimp moon! Ergo, I'm pretty sure the odds are on my side. I'm not worried. In fact, I'm so not worried that I plan to use the ladder today, work with some sharp objects and potent chemicals, and run by not one but two malls. Shoot, I might even walk the dog past the elderly, nearly toothless pit bull's house and dare that sucker to growl at us. Bring it on. Come on, wimpy Death Moon, let's rumble.
From the docket of last night's Night Court, some wild, wild words.
blet buckle - A buckle you don't like; i.e., you look at it and go, "Blet!"
sherpy - A very small Sherpa guide.
productionisation - Making a big production out of ... nothing.
doig - The act of doing something icky underwater.
intrested - When you're trested to do something.
intrueged - Finally finishing up high school in real GED fashion.
alchohol - A vile liquor that chokes you going down the gullet.
youngsterer - Someone even younger than a child.
unsrupullus - When we're riding in a wagon guided by a person with no morals.
inisit - A roundabout way of describing a sit-in.
uswsed - Us got tipsy and got wed in Vegas.