Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Gas Man Cometh

It was cold when I got up Sunday morning. I think it was probably below 40 degrees. All I know is I was shivering, the dog was shivering, and it was darned cold. Naturally, I turned on the furnace, like any sane person would. And ... nada. It wouldn't come on, no way, no how. I don't know how to fix it or even what to look for (and I can fix more stuff than the huzzzz-bun can), and it's Sunday. I was just up the creek. And cold.

All I could do was put on more clothes and drag out my space heaters. And believe me, they are lifesavers on a cold day when the heat's out. I'd have fired up the fireplace, too, except that we capped the chimney to keep birds out; the dog was having way too much fun chasing birds around the house. Thankfully, it warmed up enough yesterday that lack of heat wasn't a problem. And today, the gas company man cometh.

It seems that (1) the pilot light was out and (2) some kind of coupling was broken. Do furnaces couple? That's scary. I don't believe I want to think about that. Anyhow, the gas man came and worked some Gas Company Voodoo (for which we pay out the nose all winter long) and voilĂ  and by cracky, I have heat. Of course, it's 80 degrees today. Ain't that always the way?

Words Gone Wild are always the way, too. Like the proverbial poor, they'll always be with us. Meet some of today's worst felons.

traring - A magical decoder ring worn by waitstaff.

greatfull dead - People who died after a terrific all-you-can-eat dinner.

japaanese - One of those little yappy breeds of dogs.

gorgieouse - Gorging on vowels 'til you're soused and puke.

labrary - Euphemism for la brier patch.

bidgger - A badger suffering from PMS.

Prockter - What a proctologist will do to her if she pisses him off.

And their they go - Yes, but their what went where?

budy, can you spair a minute? - This one needs no comment.

spinich - The copy written by bad publishers to justify their existence.

deliciouce - When it's better than just plain good.

your peom - I think this is something nasty that shouldn't be mentioned in public.

my forth book - Opposite of a backward book.

publlished it - A book that was published in a bar after pummeling the bartender.

19 comments:

RexZeitgiest said...

Oh that is the worst feeling in the world......When I 23-25 I lived in a house my bother owned....the first winter and the first time I turned on the old oil heater....it quit on my, totally kaput.....


I called the furnace guy and he said the entire thing need to be replaced (it was 50 years old)....I told my brother and he did nothing.....

I went for two winters with no heat other then space heaters and the house was so old that I could only run one space heater at a time or the fuses would blow....So I walled off the living room and lived there......Boy, I am glad those days are long long gone....


Good luck Serena

RexZeitgiest said...

Did you notice your 'blog worth' has doubled lately?

Serena Joy said...

No problema, Rex. I'm hot. I have heat, too. LOL. Seriously, it got so hot this afternoon that I'm running the ceiling fan right now. The furnace is fixed, though, so it'll feel nice and toasty when I get up in the A.M.

I don't think I'd have survived two winters in your brother's house. Did he ever replace the furnace? Or at least the wiring? Old wiring sucks, too. I blow the circuits left and right all the time trying to run too much stuff.

Serena Joy said...

Did you notice your 'blog worth' has doubled lately?

I did notice that. Can't explain it, but it's kind of nice to not be as low-rent as I was last week.

Anonymous said...

I cannot afford to post here anymore. It has moved out of my range. JK

Cold? Space heaters? Pilot light? I don't know any of those terms.

Serena Joy said...

What, it never gets cold in Florida? LOL.

You can afford to be here. After all, your blog's worth about 10 times more. Tell the truth, now -- you're embarrassed at being seen in the low-rent district, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

Low rent= struggling artists=talent
High rent=lathargy=average work

RexZeitgiest said...

Eventually it did get fixed...It has been a sore spot between my brother and I ever since...He is a shitty landlord, even to his brother....The worst part is, I got him most of his work the last year.....It was my second as a real estate agent and I was using him as a contractor to do work on repos I listed.....

The good thing is it got me motivated to buy my first two houses....so it worked out....


P.S. I want to see Kans blog reciept

Anonymous said...

Here you go Rex =P
One Reciept

=P

Serena Joy said...

Geez, Rex, sounds like your brother could use some sensitivity training. Thank goodness you have your own house now.

Kan, I'm crying here. You guys are worth so much more than I am. :(

kanrei said...

Your blog is priceless.

Serena Joy said...

Awwwww. Now I AM going to cry.:)

Anonymous said...

Besides, my value is illusion. Yours is real. Mine is due to having a link on a site where every member has their own blogpage and that counts as a link.


"ourfor"? The word verification is not even trying anymore.

Anonymous said...

Kanrei sounds like a politican on that last one.....Not that there is anyting wrong with that....

Anonymous said...

$38,000......damnthatsalotofmoneysworth!

Serena Joy said...

Kanrei just didn't want to deal with any more of my crocodile tears, Rex. LOL!

You did get a sucky word, Kan. Mine's a little better -- wkrgbh! Sounds like a war cry, doesn't it?

Steve G said...

Can't run out of oil in Germany. You'll wake up a frozen and stiff.

Serena Joy said...

Has cold weather set in there yet, Steve? Nope, definitely don't want to wake up frozen and ... nope, I'm not touching the rest of that. LOL.

RexZeitgiest said...

Steve, I spent a month in the Black Forest that is one to remember....We were on field manuevers during the worst storm in 100 years.....When we arrived it was -20 and the heater of our chapperal was out...to change a heater on one of those you have to remove the entire engine....and that is no small task....

It was so cold one night our window shattered, and we had to continue manuvers with the wind blowing into the cab.......anywhere my skin was exposed felt like a sharp knife was cutting me....It was truly horrible.....