Whole Lot of Stuff Going On

There's another ripple in the already thin veneer of world peace. In Thailand, Army Commander-in-Chief General Sondhi Boonyaratkalin rolled tanks through the streets of Bangkok Tuesday night and staged a military coup ousting Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. Thaksin was in New York at the U.N. General Assembly at the time.

Sondhi Boonyaratkalin, a Muslim in the Buddhist-dominated country, is known to be close to Thailand's revered monarch, King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

Speaking of declaring war, here's another crop of those rank Words Gone Bad culled from the Web by my stalwart deputy, Roxan. Read it and weep. These words are so out there that I'm having a hard time assigning meanings to them. I mean, it's hard to do anything when you're laughing so hard you're about to wet your pants.

You can dissect them, bisect them, vivisect them, truncate them, serrate them, or blow them to Kingdom Come and it still comes down to this in the end: they don't mean jackshit other than what we say they do. Word.

abdusted - This one's easy. It's someone who's abducted by slobs and forced to dust.

apareently - A teenage Parisian apparition who preens.

liscence - A person with a good sense of listening -- and a license to do it.

duces - Unless he's talking about a particular type of subpoena, we have no idea. We do hope he's not douching; not too often, anyway.

ducktape - Oh! We love this one! We've heard of duck tape before, and it damn near quacked us up. We like to use duck tape to repair chicken coops because we hate chickens and we know it drives them freakin' nuts. Bwaaaaak.

sudenly - A type of fit caused by overdosing on Sudafed.

nouight - This term is so noir that we're unsure as to its exact origins. We believe, however, that it's an obscure reference to a new night used by the nouveau unrich.

variouse charachters - We believe this is a gross typo by someone so cruel they'd caricature people with varicose veins.

gentured - The process by which one becomes gentrified. In other words, new landed gentry must first serve an apprenticeship ingentured to those who already know a few social niceties.

roytalies - Ledgers kept by royalty regarding how many palaces they own, how many horses, how many concubines, how many carriages, and so on and so on.