Thursday, September 07, 2006

Full Moon Alchemy



Strange things are apt to happen under a full moon. People tend to be more excitable, more flaky, more just plain nuts when the moon is full. That's not an exaggeration. There's scientific data to back up the age-old claim that people get crazier when the moon's full. It's not just old wives' tales after all.

I know one thing. I had to bite my tongue at work all day to keep from asking some of the clients if they were truly effin' insane. I get that urge often; under a full moon, it's harder than usual to resist it.

Shopping for groceries after work -- ugh. The aisles were full of Moon Mad people. Not moi, of course. It was their own fault if I had visions of moving some of them out of my way with my cart.

I bought some of those overpriced cookies that are supposed to be healthier. I get them home and I want one. Or half a box. I need a sugar fix. Now. And ... I can't get the damned inner lining open. I don't know what they make that stuff out of. I think it's a laboratory duplication of that same material they found in Roswell in 1948. I had to attack it with the scissors to get at the cookies. I got them, of course. I always win, one way or another -- especially when there are sweets at stake.

There's this cleaning product I'd seen advertised on TV that looked pretty darned magical. I wanted that -- bad -- because I need all the cleaning magic I can get, so I picked up a bottle week before last. It comes in a spray bottle, with a page-long label on the back which includes ridiculously convoluted instructions on how to get the nozzle into the proper position to function. I followed the instructions to the letter. No dice. I held in the lever as directed and tried twisting it the other way, just in case the label writer was dyslexic. Still nothing. I tried clockwise, and counter-clockwise. Absolutely nada. That bottle wasn't coming open. Before resorting to putting on my ruby slippers and taking the chainsaw to it, I tried standing on the lever and using pliers to yank the nozzle into place. Yes! It squirted. Everywhere. By then, of course, I was too tired to clean.

I'm only telling you all this because I suspect I'm not the only one who has trouble with both Lunar Fever and an inability to open consumer products. That's pretty personal information, I suppose, but probably not something that's going to come back to bite me in the ass. Been there, done that. Be very cautious with what you reveal about yourself and never bare your soul (or anything else for that matter) on the Internet -- especially when the moon is full. You're not crazy, but "They" are.

8 comments:

kanrei said...

Have you considered having a webcam follow you around? I see comedy emmy in your future. =P

I tend to be very short on a full moon. Is it full right now? Would explain quite a bit like my headache all day and these fangs I got growing and all this fur.

Excuse me, I have the urge to howl.

Serena Joy said...

Yep, this is the night -- it's full. Don't worry about the fangs and fur -- it's perfectly normal at this time of the month.

NO webcam. I kind of like not getting arrested.

Shall we howl now?:)

kanrei said...

Getting arrested on a webcam would be insta-emmy!

Todays words was "qzcryzb" I think it is pronounced as "quizz-cryz-bee"

Serena Joy said...

Heh. Maybe I'll do it, then. I wouldn't mind having an Emmy -- and I always love the word "instant."

Quizz-cryz-bee is at least more civil than the fxsutu I got last night. I felt personally insulted. LOL.

kanrei said...

"fxsutu"
I would expect that from someone else's blog, but not from my own. Time to have a "talk" with this place I htink

Serena Joy said...

I think Blogger's picking and choosing who it gives a hard time. It let me actually use some features yesterday, but Verification kept talking dirty to me.

Southern Writer said...

Hey, if Blogger's talking dirty to you for free, you must be getting a deal. Most places charge about five dollars an hour for that, I think.

This full moon was nastier than most. It was a lunar eclipse although we didn't see it because it happened during the daylight hours. I've seen people who are usually normal in their lives become werewolves with this one. I even asked one whose behavior was very abnormal for her if she was on drugs.

And watch for the solar eclipse on the 22nd. I haven't worked out whether or not we'll be able to see it from the U.S., but I guarantee we'll feel the results.

Serena Joy said...

I guess I'm just lucky that way, Lesia. Sometimes, they talk dirty to me absolutely free. LOL!


Yes, ma'am, it was a pretty nasty moon. Lots of looniness was afoot, though I was very lucky not to see any werewolves. I'm pretty sure I saw some folks out of their minds on drugs, though. How else would you explain it? And more coming on the 22nd, you say? Yowza!