Friday, August 25, 2006

On "My List" Today



- Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. These two irritate me no end. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Rush ODd on his illegal Viagra and hooked up with Ann? Surely the hot air they'd produce together would ignite and that would be the end of that. Definitely something to hope for.

- People who brazenly manipulate the slow-witted ought to be ashamed of themselves. They're not, of course; not in the least. That's even more shameful.

- The bizarre saga of John Mark Karr makes you wonder whether there's a sharp spike in the number of freaks and perverts out there or whether we simply hear about it more.

- Last week, there was the phenomenon of exploding Dell notebooks. This week, it's Apples. Once again, the culprit is Sony batteries. Bummer!

- Reality TV. Aiiieeeee! I hate it, hate it. There's nothing real about it. It generally consists of a group of people brought together to snipe, backstab, badmouth, trick, and otherwise screw each other. For money. If you ask me, even the nastiest of the chicanery is scripted. I will admit to having watched two episodes of Rockstar Supernova on a dare. I found it mildly entertaining, inasmuch as some of the performers can actually sing, but it's in no wise "reality."


The Linguistics Brigade had its work cut out for it today. These bad to the bone Words Gone Wild were caught running amok, wreaking havoc and even causing blindness in some cases before they were rounded up. The streets are a much nicer place to be with them in captivity.

made me an off I couldn't refuse - I believe this one must have tangled with the Godfather. And lost. How he could write wearing his cement shoes, I don't know.

you'r - Excuse me?!

pedaling your wares - An itinerant bicycle salesman.

my screnn - I suppose it's either a useless body part (like the appendix) or ... hell if I know.

dependant - Someone under the spell of an ant, or a reference to a product worn by someone's aunt with an incontinence problem.

doind - I'm stumped. Someone who was going to promote travel to India and then stopped abruptly?

preperations - Practice for real operations.

those of you, whom are expecting - This person is about to be forcibly returned to Middle School and forced to pay attention in English class.

negotitions - I don't know what that it is, but it sounds vaguely obscene to me.

sorbriquet - This person should lock up his keyboard, assume a pseudonym, and go into hiding for a while.

And today's pièce de résistance is this scholarly phrase, attempting (and failing spectacularly) to speak of the upper echelon of the management hierarchy:

...in the higher archery

5 comments:

Unknown said...

"higher archery"

Stoned Archery contest?

Serena said...

I think it must be. I believe they do that at Stoned Soul Picnics. Of course, I get high just reading this stuff.:)

Serena said...

Woo-hoo, RW's back! I wondered where you'd gotten off to. That's terrific that the writing's going so well. And an actual crit job - kudos!

Scott said...

I could have gone my whole life without picturing Rush and Ann Coulter getting it on, but now I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND!!!

I may have to gouge my eyes out.

Serena said...

Ah, geez. I apologize for putting that hideous imagery in your head. Leave your eyes alone -- I'll be good. For a little while, anyway.:)