Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Cruising the News

Well, this will give the conspiracy buffs something to talk about. Remember all the controversy about whether the moon mission was a hoax?

It seems that the government has misplaced a plethora of stuff from that mission, including the original recording of the famous first moon landing. Neil Armstrong's original "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement is also MIA.

Spokespersons say they've been looking for the missing materials -- some 700 boxes full -- for over a year. Nada.

Excuse me? 700 missing boxes? I've worked for the government. If so much as one file had been lost for any length of time, there would have been hell to pay.

It's said that copies of some of the missing material exist, but that they are of much lower quality than the originals. Per the spokesperson, because NASA's recording equipment was not compatible with the TV technology extant at that time, it was necessary to play the original transmissions on a monitor and then reshoot them with a TV camera; hence, the shots and footage we've all seen on TV over the years.

Yep, that ought to get the hoax talk going again.

Also in the news: exploding Dell computers.

4.1 million Sony batteries have been recalled by Dell Computer. Dell says the batteries were installed in notebook computers shipped between April 1, 2004, and July 18, 2006.

Apparently, a short-circuit could cause the battery to overheat, resulting in a fire risk. I did see a shot on the news of one Dell on fire -- in Japan, I believe it was.

I have an old Dell Latitude notebook. And when I say old, I mean that thing is ancient. It's still plodding along, though, doing whatever I ask of it. I use it mainly to "experiment;" i.e., if I'm trying some new operation, it won't matter too much if I accidentally croak the Dell doing it. My main notebook is a Toshiba Satellite; I wouldn't dare experiment with that cream-puff. I like it too much.

I bought a Dell Inspiron a couple of years ago. It worked fine for about two weeks and then the devil possessed it. After untold hours of time wasted on the phone with Tech Support people who spoke no to little English, I finally got a techie in Tennessee who quickly deduced that the computer was a dead duck, and Dell agreed to replace it. The new laptop arrives, and I eagerly rip open the carton and plug that baby in. Nothing. I fiddle and I tweak and I shake, rattle, and roll, cussing the whole time. Nothing makes a difference. The power switch simply will not turn that sucker on. So, it's back to the phone, praying to reach somebody with a little English. One person keeps asking brilliant questions like "Is your monitor connected?" It's a NOTEBOOK. "Is your keyboard plugged in?" It's a NOTEBOOK. "Unplug your monitor and keyboard from the CPU and then reconnect." It's a %#$& NOTEBOOK! While waiting for a return label on that one, I ran out to Best Buy and bought a Compaq, meaning that I now had three laptop purchases on my credit card. That's correct -- Dell had me pay for my "replacement" computer, refusing to issue a credit for the first one 'til they actually had it back in their hands. Same with the second one. Will I ever buy another Dell? Anything is possible.

Also in the news, a brief spree of Word Crime. The suspects were quickly subdued, taken downtown, booked and arraigned, and denied bail.

appoligize - You guessed it. This refers to government sanitizing of the Apollo mission. (Some government employees don't spell very well, either.)

assertations - Really moronic dissertations.

loiving - A word meaning, essentially, "I'm leaving -- and loving it!"

There work - This is a simple case of omission of a "be." What they meant was, "There be work (here)."

harassmet - Person with a thick accent describing watching a woman fall -- "Her ass met (the pavement.)"

puggy bank - Piggy banks are passé. Doggie banks are the new trend; this model is the Pug.

thier - This one's just a rogue word. Nobody knows what it means.


RainbowDemon1952 said...

Serena, again I'm having trouble reaching the keyboard to type this because I've fallen out of my chair twice from laughing so hard. I swear, there is a book here, kiddo...Words gone wild is something I look so forward to each and everyday...thanks again for the laughs and the smiles...
Maybe that should be similes...

Serena Joy said...

Thanks once again, RD. It's a combination of a warped sense of humor and a wicked sharp tongue, I guess.

Here's a simile for you -- I'm either blind as a bat or dumb as a stump, because I still can't see the Perseids. LOL.

Did you find that symphonic version of BOOH at Amazon?

kanrei said...

My brother is a "faked moon landing" guy. Should be fun to talk to him right now. I am mixed on that subject. There are some good questions asked by the Tin Foil Cap crowd and some really bad answers from NASA.

Dells explode? Does this mean Michael Dell is going to be arrested for terrorism or does that just apply to cell phone dealers?

Serena Joy said...

Rut-row. Make sure your brother hasn't been nailing the tinfoil to his head. Some of my people were doing that before we started experimenting on potatoes and realized it was some pretty bad mojo. Duct tape works better.

Michael Dell is ... Michael Dell. The government is ... the government. Anything could happen. He, too, should tighten up his foil.:)