Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Truth or Bop



Miss doesn't admit this to a lot of people, but she has a special Interrogation Chair. She uses it on the hard cases -- people who won't otherwise give up the skinny that Miss wants to know. Today, she has in the chair the head honcho of a certain author mill from whom she wants to know simply, "Why?!"

Miss: Why do you keep on signing up droves of naive people who for some unknown reason think they're writers?

Honcho: Because we can.

Miss: How can you get away with paying them $1.00 advances and shorting them on royalties?

Honcho: Because we can.

Miss: I want the answer to this question. Answer it wrong, and you're getting hit in the head with the spell-check. How many submissions do your employees actually read?

Honcho: Neener-neener-neener.

(Bop!)

Honcho: Ouch!

Miss: I warned you. Next question -- what are you putting in the Kool-Aid?

Honcho: I don't care for your tone.

(Bam!)

Honcho: Ouch! Was that a cattle prod?

Miss: Want me to try it again and see if you can figure it out?

Honcho: No! And you will apologize immediately.

(Bash!)

Honcho: Yowwwwwwwww!

Miss: Such drama. I'd like for you to go sign some release letters and then we'll pick this up again.

Honcho: You are banned.

Miss: Ooooo, now I'm scared.

(Bang!)

Honcho: Owwwweeeeeeee!

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